Thursday, April 14, 2011

like the peacocks wandering the walkways of the zoo...

creative outlet.  we have stumbled those words, linnea and i, and many others, more and more this past winter, yet quite sure of our thoughtful answers.  we all need a creative outlet.  i've been a part of a lot of interviews these past 3 months that the question is proposed so simply "so what is your craft?" or "why did you decide to do this?"  


from my day job.  from all of our jobs, if we are working ones that feel draining.  that don't feel like what we want to be doing.  that we don't want to define us.   that don't fill our lungs with fresh breath and reassurance that life is more than charts and insurance companies.

but i'm just wondering, in the clicking of the typepad moment...yes, dangerous, what if it doesn't have to just be a creative outlet?  or why does it have to be an outlet at all?  did i let myself fall into the world of the 9-5 career until i can get my medicare money at 65, even though it'll be later now, thanks obama, and even though i could plan to retire sooner, it'll have to be later?  and, seriously, why does the world wait to retire before getting to the creative?

and, really, the creative is different for you and for me.  but i would simply toss this out there that the creative is whatever those things are that make you feel alive.  that life is MORE.  think about the most depressive person you know (fun, right?;)).  imagine them creating something.  gardening.  designing.  writing.  painting.  man, doesn't it just seem like it'd have to spark joy inside the most dullest, sullenest, saddest person? 

i'm going to probably take this course offered by Red Velvet.  ($38!  =  pretty awesome).  i don't want to give up hope that maybe i don't need to be a nurse forever and don't have to come home completely exhausted, having to drink loads of cold press Dunn Bros. before i can flip on the sewing machine to begin to learn.  the sleep is just so enticing in those moments.  i don't want to spend the rest of my evenings on the sofa watching more episodes of (the best ever) thursday night programming...and wishing i was better at _____.  or trying______.  or learning______.  and finally, when i have arthritic knuckles decide to start creating!  

i'm not {totally} naive that i have to work and make money.  that healthcare is a field that should equate to intense job satisfaction because "we help people."  and i don't mean to take my awesome job for granted.  and maybe i'm just meant to *hobby* it up.  maybe my life is just out of balance.  maybe i just need to have a baby.  (AAAY OHHH!  snap.  just kidding.  not the answer to any of our problems.).  maybe it really is just supposed to be an outlet.  i think that really could be okay.

but...40 more years of just a creative outlet?

i'm just wondering...

what if there's a way to do something you completely love?  or maybe not love every day, but know you are created to do because of that feeling you get like you're in the right place, the right time, surrounded by the right people.  or maybe not get to do every day, but do as often as you dream of.  maybe we're meant to create it instead of waiting for it to come to us? 

we could do more waiting in this life than we were meant to be.  all of this complaining...never creating....  i just wonder with the hugeness of worldwide corporations, if we avoid opportunities to invest into a the likelihood of being smushed could be relatively high.  but i think we are still needed...whoever of us dreams of creating these awesome dreams to live to reality. 

ramble ramble. this is what attempting to blog regularly does.  incomplete thought-filled circles!  but if you want to have coffee sometime at Plan B down in Minneapolis, that's what i'm best at!  talking in circles...

NOW.  it is your time and your moment.  if you're completely dissatisfied with what you're doing or where you're going - what are you doing about it?  after i realized i wasn't getting headaches every day last year from stress (hello, chiropractor), i decided to go for it.  begin to discover what more has been laid out there for me and my bare, wandering feet.  i am definitely not sure of each step i'm taking.  but i'd say a lot of it is because i'm trusting that the restless desires of my heart aren't there in vain.

i'm going to take that dream job class and if you want to join me in it, maybe we could meet up a couple times and talk about what we're learning.

1 comments (+add yours?)

Laura Mae said...

So, I may have just signed up :)