Monday, July 18, 2011

The Open-ness of Living.

I've come to wonder...through my endless restless meanderings through life...if what I came to believe was the answer to being restless and wanting more out of everything actually is one big, false pretense.  

Moving to a sweet, urban city, near mountains or ocean, has been my solution to any complaint I throw out to the wind...or any willing ear...about wherever I'm currently living and situated.  I moved from Grand Forks to Greece to Grand Forks to Rochester to Minneapolis to Fargo.  And a few others in between.  If I got restless or confused with life it was a lot easier to move and start new.
We were talking with The Chariot's bassist this Saturday and he repeated it a few times and resonated what Justin and I have been musing around with - that every place, each city's different culture, even from the US to Europe - is actually quite the same.  He grew up wanting to get out of Kansas City and had a total blast of life to its endearing fullest as he toured across the continent and overseas...everything new and beautiful and inspiring...but slowly by slowly has come to realize how you don't find a whole lot of resolution to whatever it is you're looking for by just moving.  What I loved most was that he kept saying, "it's not negative at all - it's really quite beautiful."

We always want something bigger and more awesome.  But I really have to remember that some places I lived by far had more geographical beauty, but I still ended up doing the same thing and loving the same thing regardless of where I lived.  Coffeeshops, the smell of fresh bakeries, reading in bookshops, creating a sweet community with creative, new friends, going to awesome-blow-your-mind-to-tears rock shows, and finding ways to stay connected to my family and friends that I held most dear everywhere else in the world.

It's funny because I'd say the masses of friends I've reconnected with who have moved resonate the same thing - moving {esp to bigger and better on the presumption it's necessary for increased fulfillment} doesn't fix it.

Moving to a larger more exciting city is totally sweet most times (I found the Kitty Cat Klub in Minneapolis which remains my most favorite place on earth)...but when you begin to spend your time in traffic...paying $10 for parking...missing the show you were going to as you wait on I-94...and eventually your dwindling funds from all the awesome-ness you're doing make you end up at home...having the same options you would have living in, say, Fargo?

This maybe shouldn't be a part of the same thought...but just as well I'm just going to throw it out there, and I'll totally regret this tomorrow when I still feel restless and still want to move to Seattle or Paris just because, but I kind of wonder if something we lack is the love and desire to be good at things called hobbies.  Just maybe as a small piece of the question...Seriously, if you had such said things you loved coming home to do or work on or do with other people, you could be happy anywhere...  

I'd still want to move to experience new life and city, people, and just look at a flippin' HILL/mountain/ocean...but things like my contentment and "there's nothing to do" fixes wouldn't feel so dependent on it.  I wouldn't be able to be disappointed that there's nothing to do.  Or when the budget gets shot from doing as much as possible wherever I am.

Waaaay back when I started re-blogging, I asked for thoughts on hobbies and life...

"Hobbies have died with the invention of technology, to most people. Back when transportation, communication, and electronics weren't readily available, people made use of their minds and talents by way of music, art, knitting, etc. And now, when you've got a job, a family, and other time consuming things, it's hard to remember to set aside time for yourself to do things that you used to enjoy." Kelsey

"People don't seem to have hobbies anymore-I totally agree. It's way easier to fill one's time with tv or computers or videogames (all of which are good, but let's kick it oldstyle, people!)." Tracey

And Linnea wrote a poem
"People don't have hobbies.
They have TVs.
They have Netflix,
and Redbox
and movies streaming instantly.

Hobbies aren't so practical.
And they don't make tons of dough.
Besides, I'm way to busy
To take time to learn to sew.
Do I really need to when,
It's cheaper to buy it at Walmart?

And, I've got to have the money
to pay off all my debt.
My son wants a new iPhone
And I think he'd throw a fit,
If I were to give him
Homemade socks instead.

But now you've made me late,
I have an extra shift at work.
Before I leave I have to check
My email/facebook/twitter accounts.
I'll get a hobby when I'm old."

So wherever you're at...if you're disliking it...I'm betting you could find some awesome things to get involved in and good at.  Things that can carry you through boring and mundane times...and keep you from just sitting on Facebook or in front of Netflix.  I still wouldn't go as far as to say it'd make everything right in the world and that I still shouldn't move someday {soon}...but maybe, just maaaaybe, we could be making more of our city and situation by not just always waiting to move, but taking on and defying the boring and/or technology crafted world by learning and creating our hobbies.

Just another circle of incomplete thoughts I can't rightly put together just yet...

 {and there's a whole lot of other pieces to it beyond hobbies...just thoughts....}

{and you should probably tell me your random thoughts on this, too}


3 comments (+add yours?)

kelseysargentdesigns said...

Ashley, this is the most beautiful thing I've read in a really long time. I love your honesty, and sometimes vulnerability, because I too have moved to find new and happy things to do, just to find that the old and happy things worked just fine. The bassist also said something that brings it full circle, "it's the people in the place that you are, that makes it home". I could live in Fargo, or Beulah, or Minneapolis, and do the same thing in every place. Watch TV, craft, go to church, but the smile on my face and contentness in my heart comes from the Jesus I see in my friends around me. Whether or not they know that part of themselves. Thank you for posting this. My heart feels lighter. Truly.

Linnea said...

Kelsey, you are a genius! This last time in China was really hard and I felt kind of guilty because I just wanted to be home! I wanted to see my friends and garden and spend time spending time with my husband. I just wanted to go to church and have control over what I ate. In the end I spent so much time meditating on Psalm 23. I do have everything I need. I shall not want. I love to travel but nowadays I only want to do it with my friends and family! It's not about just traveling any more. New isn't new any more. It all comes back to the old. The friends who haven't left. The hobbies that endured the test of time. Our Jesus who never left us while we were enthralled with all that was new waits for us.

Laura Mae said...

I am now living proof that a great adventure only makes you want to find "home" again. Life is so much more than where you live, or even what you do in a city because you can do the same thing wherever you go, life is all about love. Honestly, Love = home. I had an amazing home in Fargo, and will hopefully have one again in Minneapolis and it has nothing to do with the city but entirely because of the people who I love and love me back.

Miss you something fierce!