Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Wake up naked, drinking coffee, making plans to change the world.

I don't know if you were like me back in high school, but I was the epitome of optimism.  I had such a fire lit under my butt to read books about being a world changer.  I wanted nothing more in life than to live in a straw hut in Africa and save the world starting with that little village.  I would get together with best friend Jenny and we would pray until we literally thought we caused a storm to occur to make a difference and we were falling down.  When I think about it I seriously picture explosions of color and rainbows bursting forth from our chests in our drive to figure out our purpose...which reminds me of something Katy Perry put together...;) - (and you thought top 40 wouldn't ever come up again).
And then suddenly you become quite the mess of men...   A rainy day occurs and you get entwined in life's complications.  School debt.  Limited choices.  Too many opportunities.  Everyone moves away;) You wonder where the piss the new cynical you came from.  

Hello quarter-life crisis.  There are books now on this, you know.  No, you are not crazy.  Yes, it is completely normal to have a crash post-college. 

BUT.  You start to get creative.  Take on a new hobby.  Realize you enjoy your coworkers a LOT.  Find a friend in a place you least expected.  Discover a coffeeshop you feel at home at finally.  Remember you are good at stuff.  Get married (maybe) and realize he really is your best friend.  Then...the little fire starts to get lit under your butt again (haha!  remember the XA house Heather...).  You still have debt.  You're still not working where you want to.  Your coffeeshop brainchild is seemingly not going to happen.  BUT.  Despite being in the midst of complication you start to dream again.  Refresh.

Hold steady, I'm starting to feel quite alive again.  Purposeful again.  Ready to send little fireworks bursting out of my chest standing on a building in Paris again.  A real DREAM. 

Do you scrunch your nose at the idea of a quarter-life crisis?  Or does it relate?
"All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe." Shane Claiborne's professor

2 comments (+add yours?)

Owl said...

I learned how not to have a (pre) quarter-life crisis: go back to school. Or just never leave school.

HLK said...

SO many thoughts... one being that this week in my nesting I went through our CDs, organizing and de-junking our life... and I found this "Hope does not disappoint" CD made for me. I popped it in my car for a listen, it made me smile during my drives yesterday. Memories. Oh the dreams and fires that had us in college!

And the whole rainbow of purpose and change bursting forth? Well, I didn't think Katy Perry but I definitely thought CARE BEARS. You described a care bear to a tee. Just thought you should are never far from your 80's roots. But seriously, you are caring. And cuddly, so it works.

And I don't think God made you for tip-toeing. Your toes would revolt.